(Verse 1) And if I [C]changed my hair And the w[Em]ay that I talk And if I [F]got new friends And I c[G]ut my mustache off And I [C]knew what to say when the [Em]conversation died And I gave [F]better compliments than, "You [G]look really nice" And if I [C]had more fans And if I [Em]made more cash And I bel[F]ieved you when you'd say I look...