The girl in the past[Am]ry shop with the ne[G]t in her hair[D]
Is making a ca[F]nnoli for you to [Am]take on your hiking [G]trip
In the woods with your [D]bros that you've known since[F] second grade
And you[Am] may encounter dragons o[G]r ruffians and be[D] called upon
To e[F]mploy your testoste[Am]rone
In a battle for su[G]premacy and access [D]to females [F]glued to the TV
[Am] And even if you are [G]victorious you [D]may receive many cuts, [F]bruises, and scrpes
And you will[Am] require band aids and [G]antiseptic ointments
And [D]tender loving kisses on your [F]stab wounds and [Am]when you come home
She [G]will be there waiting[D] for you with a[F] fire in her [Am]eyes
And a [G]big fat cannoli to [D]shove in your mouth
And that's [F]why you
Thank [Am]God[G] for [D]girls[F]
Holla J[Am]esu Chri[G]ste
From Tenne[D]ssee to L[F]A
Thank [Am]God[G] for [D]girls[F]
On your [Am]reckoning [G]day
You better [D]bow down and [F]pray
She's so [Am]big[G]
She's so [D]stro[F]ng
She's so[Am] ener[G]getic in her [D]sweaty over[F]alls
Thank [Am]God[G] for [D]girls[F]
[Am] I'm so glad I got a [G]girl to think of[D] even though she isn't[F] mine
[Am] I think about her all the [G]day and all the night it's e[D]nough to know that she's a[F]-live
She says I [Am]give her sweaty palms she [G]almost had a heart attack
[D] The truth is that I'm just as [F]scared I don't know how to act
[Am] I wish that I could get to [G]know her better
But meeting [D]up in real life would cause the i[F]llusion to shatter
[Am] I carved her name into [G]all the trees
[D] Sang a song down [F]on one knee
[Am] Looking at the under[G]wear page of the Sears [D]catalog like when [F]I was 14
[Am] I'm levi[G]tating like a [D]magnet turned the [F]wrong way around
I'm like an [Am]Indian Fakir tryna' [G]meditate on a bed of [D]nails with my pants pulled [F]down
Thank [Am]God[G] for [D]girls[F]
Holla J[Am]esu Chri[G]ste
From Tenne[D]ssee to L[F]A
Thank [Am]God[G] for [D]girls[F]
On your [Am]reckoning [G]day
You better [D]bow down and [F]pray
She's so [Am]big[G]
She's so [D]stro[F]ng
She's so[Am] ener[G]getic in her [D]sweaty over[F]alls
Thank [Am]God[G] for [D]girls[F]
[Am] God took a rib from [G]Adam, [D]ground it up in a [F]centrifuge ma[Am]chine
Mixed it with carda[G]mom and cloves, [D]microwaved it on the [F]popcorn setting
While [Am]Adam was like[G] 'that really [D]hurts'
Going off in[F]to the tundra,[Am] so psed at [G]God
And he [D]started lighting minor forest [F]fires, stealing osprey [Am]eggs
Messing with the [G]bees who were trying to polli[D]nate the echinacea
[F] Until God said,[Am] 'Imma smite you with [G]loneliness
And [D]break your heart in [F]two'
And [Am]Adam wept and [G]wailed, [D]tearing out his [F]hair, [Am]falling on his [G]knees
Looked to the [D]sky and said
Is making a ca[F]nnoli for you to [Am]take on your hiking [G]trip
In the woods with your [D]bros that you've known since[F] second grade
And you[Am] may encounter dragons o[G]r ruffians and be[D] called upon
To e[F]mploy your testoste[Am]rone
In a battle for su[G]premacy and access [D]to females [F]glued to the TV
[Am] And even if you are [G]victorious you [D]may receive many cuts, [F]bruises, and scrpes
And you will[Am] require band aids and [G]antiseptic ointments
And [D]tender loving kisses on your [F]stab wounds and [Am]when you come home
She [G]will be there waiting[D] for you with a[F] fire in her [Am]eyes
And a [G]big fat cannoli to [D]shove in your mouth
And that's [F]why you
Thank [Am]God[G] for [D]girls[F]
Holla J[Am]esu Chri[G]ste
From Tenne[D]ssee to L[F]A
Thank [Am]God[G] for [D]girls[F]
On your [Am]reckoning [G]day
You better [D]bow down and [F]pray
She's so [Am]big[G]
She's so [D]stro[F]ng
She's so[Am] ener[G]getic in her [D]sweaty over[F]alls
Thank [Am]God[G] for [D]girls[F]
[Am] I'm so glad I got a [G]girl to think of[D] even though she isn't[F] mine
[Am] I think about her all the [G]day and all the night it's e[D]nough to know that she's a[F]-live
She says I [Am]give her sweaty palms she [G]almost had a heart attack
[D] The truth is that I'm just as [F]scared I don't know how to act
[Am] I wish that I could get to [G]know her better
But meeting [D]up in real life would cause the i[F]llusion to shatter
[Am] I carved her name into [G]all the trees
[D] Sang a song down [F]on one knee
[Am] Looking at the under[G]wear page of the Sears [D]catalog like when [F]I was 14
[Am] I'm levi[G]tating like a [D]magnet turned the [F]wrong way around
I'm like an [Am]Indian Fakir tryna' [G]meditate on a bed of [D]nails with my pants pulled [F]down
Thank [Am]God[G] for [D]girls[F]
Holla J[Am]esu Chri[G]ste
From Tenne[D]ssee to L[F]A
Thank [Am]God[G] for [D]girls[F]
On your [Am]reckoning [G]day
You better [D]bow down and [F]pray
She's so [Am]big[G]
She's so [D]stro[F]ng
She's so[Am] ener[G]getic in her [D]sweaty over[F]alls
Thank [Am]God[G] for [D]girls[F]
[Am] God took a rib from [G]Adam, [D]ground it up in a [F]centrifuge ma[Am]chine
Mixed it with carda[G]mom and cloves, [D]microwaved it on the [F]popcorn setting
While [Am]Adam was like[G] 'that really [D]hurts'
Going off in[F]to the tundra,[Am] so psed at [G]God
And he [D]started lighting minor forest [F]fires, stealing osprey [Am]eggs
Messing with the [G]bees who were trying to polli[D]nate the echinacea
[F] Until God said,[Am] 'Imma smite you with [G]loneliness
And [D]break your heart in [F]two'
And [Am]Adam wept and [G]wailed, [D]tearing out his [F]hair, [Am]falling on his [G]knees
Looked to the [D]sky and said
