If the television licen[D]ce man comes at a quarter to three[Am][G]
and the [D]fictionalized characters are becoming a realit[Am]y[G]
and the [D]Channel 4 woman tries to spring a survey on me[Am][G]
[D]what d'you think of Diverse Reports?
what do you think of ITV?[Am][G]
and you can [D]stand back [G]one to ten
and [A]see, [D]and yo[G]u, a[A]nd it's getting to [Em]me
and if you [D]walk five [G]miles just to [A]see
[D]Emergency [G]Only [A]and it's getting to [Em]me
If the [D]TV detector van comes at a quarter to fo[Am]ur[G]
and you [D]try to explain you were just on your way out the do[Am]or[G]
and the [D]church hall woman tries to spring a survey on me[Am][G]
[D]what do you think of MORI-polls?
what do you think of Billy Cosby[Am]?[G]
and you can [D]stand back o[G]ne to ten
and s[A]ee, a[D]nd you should know b[G]etter, [A]and it's getting to [Em]me
and if you [D]walk five [G]miles just to [A]see
[D]Emergency [G]Only, [A]and it's getting to [Em]me
[F#m]Think of yourself with an [Em]old age pension
[F#m]scares the hell out of [Em]me not to mention
[D]genocide, homicide, [G]five-a-side, suicide
[D]matricide, pesticide, [G]law-abide, woe-betide
and the [D]fictionalized characters are becoming a realit[Am]y[G]
and the [D]Channel 4 woman tries to spring a survey on me[Am][G]
[D]what d'you think of Diverse Reports?
what do you think of ITV?[Am][G]
and you can [D]stand back [G]one to ten
and [A]see, [D]and yo[G]u, a[A]nd it's getting to [Em]me
and if you [D]walk five [G]miles just to [A]see
[D]Emergency [G]Only [A]and it's getting to [Em]me
If the [D]TV detector van comes at a quarter to fo[Am]ur[G]
and you [D]try to explain you were just on your way out the do[Am]or[G]
and the [D]church hall woman tries to spring a survey on me[Am][G]
[D]what do you think of MORI-polls?
what do you think of Billy Cosby[Am]?[G]
and you can [D]stand back o[G]ne to ten
and s[A]ee, a[D]nd you should know b[G]etter, [A]and it's getting to [Em]me
and if you [D]walk five [G]miles just to [A]see
[D]Emergency [G]Only, [A]and it's getting to [Em]me
[F#m]Think of yourself with an [Em]old age pension
[F#m]scares the hell out of [Em]me not to mention
[D]genocide, homicide, [G]five-a-side, suicide
[D]matricide, pesticide, [G]law-abide, woe-betide
