intro:
A, B
verse:
[E] [F#] [A] [G#] [E]
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-0-0-4-7-9-7-4----------------------------|
I've s[E]crewed alot of boilers, I've [F#]prodded loads of tarts,
[A]Stabbed some ope[G#]n wounds and I've [E]split them all in half
Kn[E]obbed a lot of women, I've stu[F#]ffed a load of birds
[A]Shagged a lot of d[G#]ogs and I've [F#]pulled a load of skirt
And there's [B]been a load of whores when I've [F#]used a bit of force,
[A]But they all received the [G#]benefit of s[F#]exual intercourse
When they[B] make a lot of fuss, it [F#]makes me feel sick,
They w[A]ant a soaking gusset and [B]a more than ample dick
Chorus:
D[E]octor, I think I've got[A] AIDS, [E]I get laid ten times a[A] day,
I [E]bang a lot of beaver, but l[F#]et me be frank,
There's [A]something up with my d[B]ick -
It hurts when I wa[E]nk.
I've slammed a lot of crumpet, but its doing them some good,
If they don't like it, they can lump it, they've all been ugly tugs.
One bitch, she had a flat head, put up quite a fight,
But I found a gob to place my knob,
And a place to put my pint.
I always end up shagging a really smelly bag and getting down to business
When I just don't want to shag,
Chorus. x2
end
Sometimes I have to do it, lie back and think of Macc,
I'm using all this drinking time to service ugly crack.
Doctor, I think I've got AIDS, I get laid ten times a day,
I bang a lot of beaver, but let me be frank,
There's something up with my dick -
It hurts when I wank.
A, B
verse:
[E] [F#] [A] [G#] [E]
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-0-0-4-7-9-7-4----------------------------|
I've s[E]crewed alot of boilers, I've [F#]prodded loads of tarts,
[A]Stabbed some ope[G#]n wounds and I've [E]split them all in half
Kn[E]obbed a lot of women, I've stu[F#]ffed a load of birds
[A]Shagged a lot of d[G#]ogs and I've [F#]pulled a load of skirt
And there's [B]been a load of whores when I've [F#]used a bit of force,
[A]But they all received the [G#]benefit of s[F#]exual intercourse
When they[B] make a lot of fuss, it [F#]makes me feel sick,
They w[A]ant a soaking gusset and [B]a more than ample dick
Chorus:
D[E]octor, I think I've got[A] AIDS, [E]I get laid ten times a[A] day,
I [E]bang a lot of beaver, but l[F#]et me be frank,
There's [A]something up with my d[B]ick -
It hurts when I wa[E]nk.
I've slammed a lot of crumpet, but its doing them some good,
If they don't like it, they can lump it, they've all been ugly tugs.
One bitch, she had a flat head, put up quite a fight,
But I found a gob to place my knob,
And a place to put my pint.
I always end up shagging a really smelly bag and getting down to business
When I just don't want to shag,
Chorus. x2
end
Sometimes I have to do it, lie back and think of Macc,
I'm using all this drinking time to service ugly crack.
Doctor, I think I've got AIDS, I get laid ten times a day,
I bang a lot of beaver, but let me be frank,
There's something up with my dick -
It hurts when I wank.