I had a dream last[G] night I was cast into hell by a jealous God
Th[G]e Devil walked up and said, "You don't need no lightning rod
It[C] hardly ever rains down here; I can't recall the last storm
Yo[G]u ain't gonna need that leather jacket, it gets kinda warm
Th[D]ere's one way, there's no way out; looks like you're here to stay
Oh[G], the place is a mess, it's overcrowded, more are coming everyday."
I [G]said, "Aw, man, wait a minute, there's got to be somethin' wrong
I [G]ain't a bad guy, I just write these little songs
I [C]always pay my union dues, I don't stay in the passing lane."
An[G]d he said, "What about all that whisky and cocaine?"
I [D]said, "Well, yeah... but that's no reason to throw me in hell
'C[G]ause I didn't use the cocaine to get high, I just like the way it smells."
He[G] said, "Come on over here, son, let me show you around
Ov[G]er there's where we put the preachers -- I never liked those clowns
Th[C]ey're always blaming me for everything wrong under the sun
It[G] ain't that hard to do what's right, it's just maybe not as much fun
Th[D]en they walk around thinkin' they're better than me and you
An[G]d then they get caught in a motel room, doin' what they said not to do
"N[G]ow all the murderers and the rapists, they go in this fiery lake
As[G] well as most of the politicians and the cops on the take
An[C]d all the mothers who wait 'til they get to K-Mart to spank their kids;
In[G]stead of showin' 'em what to do what's right, they just hit 'em for what they did
An[D]d all the daddy's who run off and abandon their daughters and sons
Oh[G], anybody who hurts a child's gonna burn until it's done."
"E[G]veryone is down here," I said, "who's up in heaven with God and the Son?"
"O[G]h, some saints and mystics and students of Metaphysics 101
Pe[C]ople who care and share and love and try to do what's right
Be[G]autiful old souls who read little stories to their babies every night
Wh[D]at you won't find up in heaven are Christian Coalition right-wing conservatives, co[G]untry program
directors, and Nashville Record executives."
"N[G]ow," I said, "I've made some mistakes, but I'm not as bad as those guys
Ho[G]w can God do this to me?, or can't she sympathize?"
He[C] said, "You're wrong about God being cruel and mean
Oh[G], God is the most loving thing that's never been seen."
I [D]said, "Hot Shot, tell me this: which religion is the truest?"
He[G] said, "They're all about the same -- Buddha was not a Christian, but Jesus would've made a good Buddhist."
We[G]ll, I thought about my future, I didn't seem to have much of one
I [G]looked around to leave but there was... no place to run
I [C]said, "I don't suppose I could go back and try livin' again...
Li[G]ke reincarnation, I hear that's the way it's always been."
"I[D] can't answer that," he said, "you're gonna have to wait for that response
Bu[G]t it ain't any more unusual to be born twice than it is to be born once."
We[G]ll it looked like I was gonna be stuck here, as far as I could tell
I [G]thought I might as well suck up, you know, what the hell?
I [C]said, "You know that song that Charlie Daniels did?
Ab[G]out how you went down to Georgia and played fiddle against that kid?"
He[D] said, "Yeah, broke my heart but, you know, what're you gonna do?"
I [G]said, "To be honest, I thought your solo was the better of the two."
Wel[G]l, then I woke up, and I was lyin' in my bed
I w[G]ent upstairs and kissed my little boy on his sleepin' head
I t[C]ook this dream as a sign from God, so I thought I'd better pray:
"Do[G]n't ever speak to me directly, and thanks anyway."
Now[D] so much has changed about me besides me just givin' up red meat
Som[G]e get spiritual 'cause they see the light
And some 'cause they feel the heat
Th[G]e Devil walked up and said, "You don't need no lightning rod
It[C] hardly ever rains down here; I can't recall the last storm
Yo[G]u ain't gonna need that leather jacket, it gets kinda warm
Th[D]ere's one way, there's no way out; looks like you're here to stay
Oh[G], the place is a mess, it's overcrowded, more are coming everyday."
I [G]said, "Aw, man, wait a minute, there's got to be somethin' wrong
I [G]ain't a bad guy, I just write these little songs
I [C]always pay my union dues, I don't stay in the passing lane."
An[G]d he said, "What about all that whisky and cocaine?"
I [D]said, "Well, yeah... but that's no reason to throw me in hell
'C[G]ause I didn't use the cocaine to get high, I just like the way it smells."
He[G] said, "Come on over here, son, let me show you around
Ov[G]er there's where we put the preachers -- I never liked those clowns
Th[C]ey're always blaming me for everything wrong under the sun
It[G] ain't that hard to do what's right, it's just maybe not as much fun
Th[D]en they walk around thinkin' they're better than me and you
An[G]d then they get caught in a motel room, doin' what they said not to do
"N[G]ow all the murderers and the rapists, they go in this fiery lake
As[G] well as most of the politicians and the cops on the take
An[C]d all the mothers who wait 'til they get to K-Mart to spank their kids;
In[G]stead of showin' 'em what to do what's right, they just hit 'em for what they did
An[D]d all the daddy's who run off and abandon their daughters and sons
Oh[G], anybody who hurts a child's gonna burn until it's done."
"E[G]veryone is down here," I said, "who's up in heaven with God and the Son?"
"O[G]h, some saints and mystics and students of Metaphysics 101
Pe[C]ople who care and share and love and try to do what's right
Be[G]autiful old souls who read little stories to their babies every night
Wh[D]at you won't find up in heaven are Christian Coalition right-wing conservatives, co[G]untry program
directors, and Nashville Record executives."
"N[G]ow," I said, "I've made some mistakes, but I'm not as bad as those guys
Ho[G]w can God do this to me?, or can't she sympathize?"
He[C] said, "You're wrong about God being cruel and mean
Oh[G], God is the most loving thing that's never been seen."
I [D]said, "Hot Shot, tell me this: which religion is the truest?"
He[G] said, "They're all about the same -- Buddha was not a Christian, but Jesus would've made a good Buddhist."
We[G]ll, I thought about my future, I didn't seem to have much of one
I [G]looked around to leave but there was... no place to run
I [C]said, "I don't suppose I could go back and try livin' again...
Li[G]ke reincarnation, I hear that's the way it's always been."
"I[D] can't answer that," he said, "you're gonna have to wait for that response
Bu[G]t it ain't any more unusual to be born twice than it is to be born once."
We[G]ll it looked like I was gonna be stuck here, as far as I could tell
I [G]thought I might as well suck up, you know, what the hell?
I [C]said, "You know that song that Charlie Daniels did?
Ab[G]out how you went down to Georgia and played fiddle against that kid?"
He[D] said, "Yeah, broke my heart but, you know, what're you gonna do?"
I [G]said, "To be honest, I thought your solo was the better of the two."
Wel[G]l, then I woke up, and I was lyin' in my bed
I w[G]ent upstairs and kissed my little boy on his sleepin' head
I t[C]ook this dream as a sign from God, so I thought I'd better pray:
"Do[G]n't ever speak to me directly, and thanks anyway."
Now[D] so much has changed about me besides me just givin' up red meat
Som[G]e get spiritual 'cause they see the light
And some 'cause they feel the heat